Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Mario's 1st Baskball game...

Well yesterday was Mario's big night... his 1st BB game... he said that he was nervous.. in the 1st half, when he played, the coaches were just yelling at him, "what are you doing".. Mario couldn't figure out what was going on...so the coach took him out and had a talk with him, showing him what to do with the clipboard and outlying the play... so in the 2nd half, Mario went in to play again, he scored 12 points out of the 56 they ended up with.

Of course his school won, 56 to 11....after the game, he was just bragging to everyone .. not bad for a first timer huh... he was soo excited and definatly had his adrenalyn going strong...I gave him my ticket and he wrote the school they played against and the score, he said that he is going to keep the tickets in his binder...he said that he likes his coach, it's a new coach this year, Mario said that he is very strict but he's the best coach MISD has right now in their Middle schools...Mario said that he's a good coach, he listens when one talks to him, and he talks to one with no distruptions, he is straight forward with everyone.

Mario really likes him.

Can't wait til the next game!!!

Thursday, November 12, 2009

So much ....

So much has happened with our families (mine / sisters) our Momma was the one person that everyone could talk to and would turn to for guidance. I know that there is so much to talk about with Momma...Just to hear her words/voice again...but in my head, I always hear her voice, whenever I remember something that she would say or do or even her laughter... I am thankful that I do have her on some home videos...

Address in the Stars:

I stumbled across your picture today
I could barely breath
The moment stopped me cold,
Grabbed me like a thief.
I dialed your number, but you wouldn't be there
I knew the whole time, but it's still not fair
I just wanted to hear your voice,
I just needed to hear your voice.

What do I do with all I need to say
So much I wanna tell you everyday
Oh it breaks my heart,
I cry these tears in the dark
I write these letters to you,
But they get lost in the blue,
'Cause there's no address in the stars.

Verse 2:
Now I'm drivin'
Through the pitch black dark
I'm screaming at the sky
Oh cause it hurts so bad
Everybody tells me
Oh all I need is time
Then the mornin' rolls in
And it hits me again
And that aint nothin' but a lie.

What do I do with all I need to say
So much I wanna tell you everday
Oh it breaks my heart,
I cry these tears in the dark
I write these letters to you,
But they get lost in the blue,
'Cause there's no address in the stars.

Verse 3:
Without you here with me,
I don't know what to do.
I'd give anything
Just to talk to you
Oh it breaks my heart,
Oh it breaks my heart,
But all I can do
Is write these letters to you,
But there's no address in the stars.

Monday, October 26, 2009

MK Softball...

Well on Saturday, October 26th, Mario and I played in the Mary Kay Softball Tournament in Irving. We didn't make the championships, but we had a blast!

The guys on our team were great and fun.. of course they all knew one another from Manufacturing and then we had Manny and myself from Corporate...Mario played great...he was placed in Left field with Julio since they were faster in running and Ashley and myself were placed over by Right field...and Karen as catcher..we only had 3 girls on the team and 10 guys.. our first game we won and we also had 3 players get injured (pulled hamstrings)...but we still won!!

We had a drawing for prizes and Mario won a digital camera (which I told him to take care of it) and I won GUCCI sunglasses. I have to get Mario a memory card for his camera, he loves it.. and it's green!!

Friday, October 23, 2009


Tonight is NMHS's game in Tyler, TX... and Nathalie has made the PACESETTER KICKLINE!!

Every Monday, the Pacesetters have to try-out for the week's game kickline...this is Nathalie's 1st time to be on the Kickline and I wouldn't miss it for the world!!

It'll be a long lonely drive..hopefully Mauricio will go, but I doubt it...

I'm so very proud of her.. she was excited when she told me that she made it.

Thursday, October 8, 2009


Well it's been almost a year since Mario broke his femur. He's been doing very well, obeying the Dr's orders and when he had physical therapy, he would work his leg out as instructed when at home. He's come a long way since the injury.

Today was his Dr. appt and the Dr. asked him how his leg has been, if it's been bothering him or not, then he asked Mario if he wanted to remove the rod or keep it in? Mario said that he wanted to keep it in, since it wasn't bothering him. The Dr. said that was fine, if he(Mario) ever decides that it is bothering him or he wants to have it removed to just give him (dr.) a call.

When we were leaving, Mario said that he wasn't sure if he wanted to play in next week's game, because it would have been exactly ONE YEAR from his injury. I told him to don't look at it that way... I told him, he needs to play in the game and look at it as a celebration that he is able to play again and walk again...that the injury didn't hold him back or hold him down.. he has overcomed that injury and needs to look what lies ahead.

I hope that he will understand by game day next week and take my words to heart.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

MK Volleyball Tournament...

Well today was our MK Volleyball Tournament, Mario was playing with me on my team.

We had 5 on our team and we came in 3rd... it was good fun and it was our first year to play... went home got some Sonic and then slept for a few hours before getting dressed for the Dallas Stars vs St. Louis Blues game...

Mario didn't want to go so Nathalie went with me.. we had a good time.. I got her a jersey of the Mavs...Stars lost... 5-0... but Nathalie enjoyed the fights that broke out... there were 4 of them.. she would say , i'd wish they fight again.. and within a few minutes, there they'd go at it...

Friday, September 18, 2009


Last night we went to the home game for North Mesquite High, they were playing against Irving's MacArthur High. In the 3rd quarter, one of the team members from Irving got injured and an ambulance had to be called. All that brought back the memory of Mario getting injured. I know what that player's mother was going through, not knowing what was happening, what's going to happen...can't help her son in any way but just to stay calm next to him. Putting up a front when in reality you just want to cry because your son is in pain and there's nothing you can do about it. Next week is Mario's 1st game and I am so worried about him. He tells me that his leg doesn't bother him and that they have been practicing how to tackle, but while his coaches train one way, the other school's coaches can train their players differently.

NMHS lost the game, it was a good close game...now they are 3-1

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Labor Day weekend....

Well Labor Day weekend came and went...

Friday, I left work early and headed home to get some sleep...since the dogs were at the vet's. Slept for a few...then waited for Mario to get home so that he could go with me to pick up the dogs by 6pm...then dropped the dogs and Mario home and headed to Nathalie's game in Garland...

Saturday was just a blahhh day.. nothing special , besides Cristobal's 1st b-day...

Sunday was cool, we headed to Daniela's for a cookout and had food and fun....

Monday was a blast!!! We headed to Joe Pool Lake with Daniela and her family and her brother's family (Albert)... Albert took his boat and Nathalie, Mario, Mauricio and Albert's kids were all having fun on the tube... I got in the boat and had JuJu asleep, but she had her chance on the tube too with Michael...everyone had a blast...Can't wait til we do it again!!

Nathalie had a wipeout on the tube that she scrapped her face in the water and Mario had a wipeout and Mauricio had a wipeout ...Michael had several wipeouts...

but they all had fun!!

Friday, September 4, 2009

NMHS game2 vs. N. Garland

NMHS played against N. Garland at Williams Stadium in Garland..

NMHS wins again!!!

NMHS: 23
N. Garland: 6

Friday, August 28, 2009

Pacesetter ... Nathalie ... NMHS

Well today is the first game of NMHS and Nathalie's first football performance.

She has a friend that asked if I would like to take turns carpooling with her mother, they live in Tradewind Apts, I said sure. The way it'll work is we take turns one week each of taking the girls to school in the morning and whoever has the week off will pick up the girls after the game for that week. So this week it is the other mother's turn and my turn to pick up after the game tonight.

Well this morning, I was in my room getting dressed when Nathalie yells that she is about to leave, I said 'okay have fun, I'll see you tonight'... I'm about to leave and as I walked into the kitchen I see Nathalie's Pacesetter outfit hanging on the pantry door!!! I go into the garage to open it and call Nathalie's friend Kiya, I ask for Nathalie and when she gets on the phone I ask her, 'how you planning on performing without your suit?' Nathalie freaked out, so I told her that I would take it up to her at school, to wait for me. I was at the light and Nathalie calls me to find out where I was, because she was in practice, I tell her I was at the light about to turn into the school parking lot...I pull into the parking lot and here comes Nathalie laughing and smiling (as always)... first thing she says, 'don't worry I'm not in trouble, I got permission to come out here.' So I told her to hurry back into the gym to her practice.. SHE WENT RUNNING !! (she never wants to run)...I follow her to the gym entrance and yell out the window.. 'OMG, UR RUNNING...OMG!'
of course Nathalie is just smiling...So I told her that I would see her tonight and to have fun....she will be staying at the school all day until after the game...


NMHS : 28


Monday, August 24, 2009

Music growing up...

and of course momma loved her oldies too:



and she loved her country too:





and she was VERY VERY Patriotic:


and had a lot of Faith in Jesus Christ:


Music growing up...

This song momma sang at her B-day party that was at my apt, when we had a Karaoke/DJ guy there... momma took the microphone and went for it...

One of momma's final requests:

I know momma like Antonio's songs... he was a character...


Wednesday, August 19, 2009


This will always be her song from me...

Song For Mama - Boyz II Men


You taught me everything and everything you've given me
I always keep it inside
You're the driving force in my life, ey, yeah
There isn't anything or anyone that I can be
And it just wouldn't feel right
If I didn't have you by my side, oh

You were there for me to love and care for me
When skies were gray
Whenever I was down, you were always there
To comfort me

And no one else can be what you have been to me
You will always be
You will always be the girl in my life
For all times

Mama, mama you know I love you (I love you, ooh, you know I love you)
Mama, mama your the queen of my heart
Your love is like tears from the stars (Yes, it is)
Mama I just want you to know
Lovin' you is like food to my soul (Yes, it is, yes, it, is, oh... oh... oh...)
(Yes, it is, yes, it is, yes it, is, oh... oh... oh...

You're always down for me have always been around for me
Even when I was bad
You showed me right from my wrong, yes, you did
And you took up for me when everyone was downin' me
You always did understand
You gave me strength to go on

There was so many times
Looking back when I was so afraid
And then you come to me and say to me
I could face anything

And no one else can do what you have been doin' for me
You'll always be
You will always be
The girl in my life, woo, oh

Mama, mama you know I love you (You know I love you, you know I love you)
Mama (Hoo), mama your the queen of my heart (You are)
Your love is like tears from the stars (Your love is like tears from the stars)
Mama I just want you to know (Ooh, mama I just want you to know)
Lovin' you is like food to my soul, oh

Never gonna go a day without you, ooh...
Fills me up just thinkin' 'bout you
I'll never go a day without my mama

Mama (You know), mama (Mama) you know I love you
(You know I love you, ooh... oh... ooh...)
Mama, mama your the queen of my heart (The queen of my heart)
Your love is like (Say your love) tears from the stars (Your love is like tears from the stars)
Mama (Mama) I just want you to know (Whoa, ma-mama, mama)
Lovin' you is like food to my soul (Lovin' you is like food to my soul)

Bom, bom, bom (Oh... ho... oh... oh...)
Bom, bom, bom (Yeah... yeah...)
(You are the food to my soul)
(Yes, you are)

Tuesday, August 18, 2009


Just here at work, going through the 'old' entries from My Family that momma would write, the jokes, the smart comebacks, the kind/loving words/advise....etc.

I started to cry on this one...

This is in response to the passing of Danny Vallejo:

Lupe Rios Gonzalez - Feb 8, 2005
yes it must truly be Heaven there but may God forgive me, when it is my time to go home, the first person i wish to see is Ama...may God grant me that wish

Juanita Gonzales - Feb 8, 2005
I have a feeling that both she and Apa will be there standing beside God waiting to greet you and welcome you home.

Lupe Rios Gonzalez - Feb 8, 2005
thank u Juanita....such simple words to say but they say a lot when they come from the heart...Thank You!

Maria Chavez - Feb 9, 2005
I know how you feel - I can't wait to see Dad again but I also want to see Ama & Apa and especially the grandparents that I never got to meet - Dad's parents. That will be awesome. And just between me and you I want to see JFK and ask him "so what really went down?"

Lupe Rios Gonzalez - Feb 9, 2005
all jfk will say is marilyn lol
This was in response to Beli's post about Daniela's 7th Anniversary:

Lupe Rios Gonzalez - Jan 12, 2005
wow Beli, u made me cry too....i love all my kids and it makes me feel so good in my heart when i read something like this....everytime i talk about them to people i feel proud to be able to tell them that they r always ready to help me in any way that i need.....not many mothers can say that about thier kids now a days and it is so sad what they r missing...THANK U FOR BEING THE PERSONS THAT U R...I LOVE U ALL.
This is in response to WORD OF THE DAY:

Maria Chavez - Jan 13, 2005
my brain hurts

La Mira Rodriguez - Jan 13, 2005
I know the feeling! LoL

Lupe Rios Gonzalez - Jan 13, 2005
since when did u get a brain to know the feeling hehehehe

La Mira Rodriguez - Jan 13, 2005
oh yea, i forgot ...oops
this was a response to Daniela's Mother's Day story:

Lupe Rios Gonzalez - Apr 12, 2005
Thank you mija, i had to read it twice because of the tears in my eyes....you could not have given me a better Mothers' Day gift...I love you too....from near or far, I will always love you and be here for you...

This is a response to Belinda on the same Mother's Day story:

Lupe Rios Gonzalez - Apr 14, 2005
to Beli, mija, i may not always show it or tell u, but i know you love me...it is so true that actions speak louder then words and your actions tell me just how much you love me....yes we argue, but what mother and daughter doesn't...but we do help each other as much as we can..we are always there for each other and i will always try my best to help as much and in any way that i am able....thank you for this mothers' day gift...it means more to me then any material thing....i love you beli and i hope you will never doubt it nor forget it

This is a response to me on teh same Mother's Day story:

Lupe Rios Gonzalez - Apr 14, 2005
Miranda, thank you too for this mothers' day gift...you will never know how much your words mean to me...i love all my kids, but i am Apa's daughter and don't show affection easy...but i love you all with all my heart and soul..i would give my life for you...and yes, it may sound morbid but i would even kill for all of you if i ever had too...all of you are my life, my contribution to this world and my legacy...all of you please never doubt for a second that i don't love you....i am here if ever you need me anytime you need me...now pleaseeeeeeeeeee stop making me cry...lol...love you all with my life
This is in response to my Heave Ho' story from Chicken Noodle Soup book:

Lupe Rios Gonzalez - Mar 7, 2006
lmao....and if any of u ever get a high rise suv it better come equipped with a dang chain hoist lol....or one of those gigantic electric magnets and raise me up bye my leg lol...and u r soooooooo right Miranda PA'YA VAS TU lol

Beli Lopez - Nov 9, 2006 Viewers | Reply to this item Well, I finally got a high rise SUV (w/no chain hoist) and yes we had an episode this past weekend. Both me and Mija were laughing as mom tried to get into my SUV and I said "Heave" we both knew exactly what I was talking about. Mom, kept saying 'It's not funny" however finally after mom got in, we loaded the groceries and started back home, Mom laughed right along with us.

There are sooo many responses funny and sympathetic and heart-felt from momma...These are just a few of so many responses.. I like to go back and reread them as often as I can....I can hear her voice when reading them and her laughter and seeing her face when laughing....I miss her so much...

Monday, August 10, 2009


Okay, my first weekend at home and it was my turn to host the family dinner.. Decided on moving it from my house to the lake... IT WAS SO MUCH FUN !!

I had Mauricio take the hardtop off his truck to load up my gas grill, chairs, umbrella, cooler...and also I loaded my SUV up with another cooler, the sodas/water bottles and the floats...

I of course got sunburned again.. but it don't hurt.. I just hate it when I start to peel.. ugh!!

Next month is Daniela's turn and she said that she'll take it to Galveston.. hahahaha Her hubby said that SHE (DANIELA) will pay for the gas and the hotel and the food .... hahahaha DOES SHE KNOW THAT? hahahahahaha

Monday, August 3, 2009


Yeaaaaa!!! Seminar is over and that only means one thing.. It's already AUGUST!!!!

This year was awesome at Seminar!! We usually only have 2 performances during the program, and this year we had 6 performances!!

We had Jasmine Murray from American Idol (top 13) whose sisters are MK Consultants and they have an agreement that which ever one receives their pink cadillac first will receive Jasmine Murray as their new team member!!

We also had Joshua Allen from 2008 So You Think You Can Dance Winner!!!
His performance was great....we showed how he started with MK and the Friends of Tyme from when he was 9 years old up til 2007, when he auditioned for SYTYCD...and ended up being the winner of that competition!!

We also had Cassie LeBeau (i think that's how it's spelt), anyways, she was another American Idol top 13 a few years back...she is very nice and awesome!!

The performances were out of this world and the 3 VP's did their little skit dancing to Beyonce's Single Ladies!! It was hilarious and of course I have it on my phone recorded...too too funny!!

Monday, July 6, 2009


Wellllll.. it is here... JULY.....mid-year.....seminar...summer.....

I worked late all last week and even on Friday and Saturday (company close on Friday, but still worked)... So, Sunday was our July 4th celebration at the lake... It was nice, had fun..got sun-burned, but the good thing is that it don't hurt...Guicho rubbed some cooling gel from MK after my shower and it really helps it cool down.

Monday and back to work.. I have no idea if we are working late this week or not.. I dropped Nathalie off at the hotel for her Drill team camp week... Have to pick her up on Thursday around 12:30, so I'll do a drive by during my lunch and just bring her back to work with me...She was sooo excited...she was wearing her Pacesetter jacket, shirt, and NORTH pants...

Wednesday, July 1, 2009


Well this week I'll be busy working late every night and even working on Friday and Saturday...

Yesterday, Nathalie was excited .... she went to pick up her Pacesetter things and already has her duffle bag packed with what is needed for her Drill Team camp starting next week. She was excited to have received her blue and silver POM-POMs....She has to be at the hotel in Richardson by 7:15am, so that means that Mario will be having to take his bicyclel to his summer camp at NMHS that day. I got my mom's Pacesetter shirt.. whoo hoo!!!

Well it's back to work again...

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Gone Too Soon --

This week has been a sad one..

First: Ed McMahan
Second: Farrah Fawhcett
Third: Michael Jackson....

"Gone Too Soon"

Like A Comet
Blazing 'Cross The Evening Sky
Gone Too Soon

Like A Rainbow
Fading In The Twinkling Of An Eye
Gone Too Soon

Shiny And Sparkly
And Splendidly Bright
Here One Day
Gone One Night

Like The Loss Of Sunlight
On A Cloudy Afternoon
Gone Too Soon

Like A Castle
Built Upon A Sandy Beach
Gone Too Soon

Like A Perfect Flower
That Is Just Beyond Your Reach
Gone Too Soon

Born To Amuse, To Inspire, To Delight
Here One Day
Gone One Night

Like A Sunset
Dying With The Rising Of The Moon
Gone Too Soon

Gone Too Soon

Friday, June 19, 2009


Well this week feels like it has been dragging...Since Wednesday I kept thinking it was already Friday.. now that Friday is actually here...whopeee.

My face started peeling from the last weekend's sun...this morning my shoulders are starting to itch (which means they will start to peel next)...Nothing exciting happening, just trying to get through for the weekend.

Yesterday when I got home, Mario came to me and said that he got a good compliment from one of the Coaches at the Summer Camp.. I asked what it was, and he said that Coach told him he was a good athlete and should return to next year's camp and go for Football in HS as well. Mario will be taking his bicycle to NMHS for Summer Camp, since he found out that a friend of his that lives close to us is riding his bike as well..bike buddies..awwwwwww....

Nathalie has been trying so hard to win herself some Jonas tickets... This past Sunday on our way to Daniela's for family dinner..the radio station said call now and be caller 20 to get Jonas tickets....she was caller 18!! Boy was she mad...but she is still trying to win herself some tickets...and still no luck...After spending 4-5 days with her dad 2 weeks ago, she came back saying she was not eating meat again, that she is now a vegetarian...makes me wonder if her dumbass aunts (ana / adela) commented to her about her weight again..when growing up, Nathalie was the one they would attack because she was fuller then Sabrina/Veronica/Mario...one time her Aunt Ana even commented that she needed to loose weight because her clothes are too expensive...noone told the dumb-bitch to go shopping for Nathalie, oh yea, it was Nathalie's dad that would have everyone else do things for the kids because he was just too busy to them himself....

Well this weekend is Father's Day and Nathalie said that she'll go but will be coming back early Sunday to go to Fabian's baptism and Mario said that he is not going with his dad this weekend..Mario has commented several times that he doesn't not want to go with his dad again...I have a feeling that Mario is really hurt that his dad doesn't do more than just open his mouth and tell lies...Mario tries to hide it by getting attitude .. but I know that it hurts him that his father won't spend time with him or go to his football games (after the 1st football game in 7th grade, that his dad said yes he would be there..and didn't show up)Mario doesn't tell his dad anymore of when he has something going on, whether it's football, basketball, or award ceremonies...Mario commented to me that he won't tell his dad anything again, because he knows that his dad will not show up. I see Mario and Mauricio playing around more and more, whether it's joking around, going to the store together or going somewhere to get something to eat for everyone or just helping one another when needed.

Monday, June 15, 2009


Well, on Friday Mario called me at work wanting to know if he could stay the night with Johnathon (his friend), fine....be home by 10am saturday morning....Then Friday night Beli calls wanting to know if we want to go play some Laser Tag... sureee why not.. so Mauricio, Nathalie and myself all go and play 3 rounds of laser tag...talk about sweating!! We finished around 11pm...it was fun! Mauricio is a cheater, he's not suppose to touch the opponents and he kept pushing me and he even turned and hit his head on the wall.. (eso le pasa por payaso)... he was having a blast...Beli asked if we were going to the river on Saturday.. I said, didn't know cuz Guicho would be working....

Saturday Morning, I called Belinda and asked if they were still planning on going to the river? She said yes.. So Nathalie, Mario and myself (guicho working) all went to tubbing on the Brazos River...3 mile long...from 1:50pm til about 5pm...Sun got to me... that night I kept freezing.. I had sweats and a blanket on, Guicho wasn't home, he was at his cousin's..I went to sleep after talking to him...then I call him to ask him to get me some rice from Taco Cabana.. he brought rice, refried beans, and chicken flautas...and brought me a plate in bed...gave me my meds and my water bottle...I was still freezing and Guicho didn't want to get out of bed to get my socks from the closet so he put his socks on my feet...went back to sleep...the next morning I felt a little bit better.. Beli called to check on me...Mauricio was sleeping and after watching some TV, he woke up and asked if I had already eaten..YES, Mario heated up some more of the chicken flautas w/rice and beans...then Mauricio asked if we were going swimming after going to Daniela's for Family dinner.. So i called Daniela and asked her.. she said we could.... Mauricio stayed in bed all morning til about 12:30pm then says he isn't waiting for eating at Daniela's, and asked if we wanted anything from JIB...I only got 2 tacos..Mario and Mauricio both pigged out...then we go to Daniela's and she's busy packing the food and stuff to head to Joe Pool Lake...

IT WAS FUN!! I loved the waves from the boats and jet skis... on the float... I know the kids had fun..especially Julissa.. and Mauricio had fun too... Can't wait til we go again!!

P.S..at work I weighed myself (as usual)I am down another 2lbs from Thursday of last week!!!

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Dr. Appt...

Well, today I had my monthly Dr. Appt...Dr.said that everything looked good...she asked if I still had enough meds...yes, I still have the sample packages that she provided last month, plus my prescription w/refills ...so I have plenty!!

From exactly one month ago.. I have lost 10-11 lbs. I left the Dr and got all wet from the storms...with the wind blowing so hard, it looked like the rain was coming down sideways!! The wind was blowing against my car, so the door was hard to open with the wind blowing against it, I GOT SOAKED!

I made it to work, and I haven't eaten anything yet...since I needed to be empty of any sugars for my blood work...I have to go back in another month...and of course, Mauricio, Nathalie, and Mario are all at home sleeping late...Mario didn't go to his camp today because of the rain.. all the streets in Mesquite were flooded and they were expecting more rain to fall by this afternoon... I don't mind the rain ... I just don't want to be in it.. I wish I could have stayed at home sleeping... ugh!!

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

No Time....

Well, this is the first week of no school..Nathalie has been over at her dad's since Friday...Mario's been here with me, since he has his football summer camp.

He said his legs are sore...they are running, lifting weights, working out from 8am til 10am or so...but I gave him money to get something to eat/drink afterwards since he has to walk home...but at times his friend will give him a ride.

On my way home from work today, I was listening to a CD that Mauricio had given me...which I haven't heard in awhile...One song on there started (gracias mama) and I just started crying...I started thinking that since my mom's passing, I feel I haven't really had time to mourn her death...I've been so busy and my mind has been so occupied with work things...I don't feel I have actually mourned her death. It seems so ironic that when she was alive, she has lived with Belinda and with Daniela, and not me...now that she has passed, she is at my house...I feel her presence and at times I hear her voice...I don't feel that she has gone, maybe that's why I have yet to actually mourn her death..to me she is still around...but this song got to me today, just out of the blue...

gracias mama - los horoscopos de durango

lyrics: Gracias Mama..

Como planta nací de tus intranas
alimenté de ti, muy cerca de tu alma
me encenaste a ver un mundo de ilusiones
amor, compresión, dichas y emociones

Tú eres para mí un ser muy especial
no hay otro amor igual al que siento por ti
me encenaste a distinguir el bien de la maldar
y a cambio de nada supiste a hacer mama

Gracias Mama por tanto que me has amado
Gracias Mama por lo que tú me has dado
Por siempre adquir cuando yo te llamo
saber disculpar mis faltas y pecados

Gracias Mamas por todos tus desvelos
Gracias Mama por estar a mi lado cuando he sentido miedo
por dame tu confianza y enseñarme con tu fe a tener esperanza

la que me supo criar y darme su carino
también es para mí lo más que yo he quierido
me enseñaste a distinguir el bien de la maldar
y a cambio de nada supiste a hacer mama

Gracias Mama por tanto que me has amado
Gracias Mama por lo que tú me has dado
Por siempre adquir cuando yo te llamo
y saber disculpar mis faltas y pecados

Gracias Mama por todo lo vivido
Gracias Mama por siempre estar conmigo
y encenarme a compartir mis cosas por igual
supistes a serme ver el valor de la amisted

Gracias Mama por tanto que me has amado
Gracias Mama por lo que tú me has dado
Por siempre adquir cuando yo te llamo
y saber disculpar mis faltas y pecados

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

JUNE is here !!

omg! it's already JUNE... almost 1/2 the year gone by!!

Well, the heat is coming upon us... 100° temps are on the way... we need a pool !!
Hopefully we'll be able to spend time at the lakes and water areas....(oh i hope so)...

School is almost out for the kids...Nathalie's last day is on Thursday and Mario is on Friday.. then they go with their dad for the weekend.. then Monday, Mario starts his Football NMHS Summer Power Camp from 8am til 10am... Mon - Thurs... at least it'll give him something to do for the next 6 weeks...I'll be working late tonight , but get to FLEX on Friday and leave early! whoo hoo.. I can handle that!

Sunday, May 31, 2009

DANIELA's party!!!

Well, we had a Surprise Party for Daniela (oldest sister) ... she thought we were taking her out to eat steak ... Belinda had already sent the invites to everyone and we had a great turn-out...She had her friends and family there to help celebrate her 40th !!

Belinda, Sabrina, Julissa, and myself all went decoration shopping on Saturday... we got all 40th b-day decos for Daniela to decorate the inside of my house and for the outside, it was all for Julissa's Luau party...I had a pool for Julissa and tiki torches (not lit) and leis... it was hot, but fun!!

Sabrina, Nathalie, and Mario helped with the decorations and Belinda and I worked with the food prep...I had the beans cooking in the crock pot since morning, to make sure they'd be done on time... then we chopped the onion, cilantro for the tray to put with the food, and then Beli tried to do the rice, which she used the whole 2lb bag for a wok-like pan...(bad move)... 1/2 the rice was cooked, the other 1/2 was not...then it started getting mushy... so after Mauricio and Alonso finished with the yard work, they were riding bikes and we sent them to the store to get some more rice (I had some, but wasn't sure it would be enough)... SOOO I started cooking the rice (new batch).... and then Beli started cutting the fajitas....

People (daniela's in-laws) showed up right at 4pm on the dot!!! I was getting the grill ready to put the meat...(so I was the cook of the day)..

Everything came out great! The people started to arrive and then...Belinda was looking out for Daniela... when she showed up, we opened the double doors and everyone yelled, surprise!! Daniela was holding back tears...( i could tell)...

(they must have, because this is the first party that there was no food left over!!)

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Month of MAY

The month of MAY...

This month started out BADDDD!!!

We all headed out to Groom, TX... with a camping site stop in Canyon, TX (Amarillo area)...we left on Saturday, (5/2/09) at 3am....Mauricio, Nathalie, Mario and I were in my Jeep (and CoCoa too)... Beli /her family and Daniela with hers were in Beli's suburban....I was following her... around 6am or so... I let Mauricio drive my Jeep cuz I was really getting sleepy... I felt as if I barely slept when I hear and felt that he hit something...I woke up all scared and hear him saying..'chingao, lo pegue, no tuve tiempo para darle la vuelta'... I asked him what he hit.. Mauricio said he hit a deer.. that he didn't have time to swirve... I told him to pull over and then I start to see smoke and hear a hissing sound from the radiator.. it was about 6:45am...I told him to signal Gabino (driving beli's suburban) and to flash his lights to get Gabino to stop.... then I get off the Jeep and walk to the front to see the damage.. damn deer ruptured my radiator and busted my grill/headlight etc .. etc.... it was the side that I had just gotten repaired in JAN/FEB from the previous idiot that rearended me!!! There we were all waiting for state trooper to arrive.. we had no idea where we were, no mile markers, no signs.. I was on the phone with my insurance company trying to give her all the information and trying to figure out where the heck we were... when the state trooper showed up (about 15 mins later).. he was able to explain to her where we were and which wrecker service he called to come for the Jeep and also which town was the closest to get a rental...well we had to turn around go back 10 miles to Vernon, TX to drop off Jeep at the wrecker's lot and then go back 55 miles to Wichita Falls, for the rental....good thing is that they had a rental big enough for all of us and all of our camping gear....we were only 2 hrs from arriving at the camping site when this all happened.. so instead of arriving around 8:30/9am...we arrived around 2pm !!!!

We arrive at the canyon to camp out and we put up the tents... Daniela stayed and started to prep the food.. while everyone else went climbing the mountains...whooo hoo..

After all the monkeying around... and eating... we all went into our own tents around 7:30- 8pm to sleep!! TALK ABOUT EARLY!! But the evening was nice and cool.. I heard the rain during the night.. Mauricio brought his air mattress from Houston, so I was sleeping good...Mario had his own tent (which I need to buy another.. he is too tall!!).. Nathalie shared with Sabrina and Julissa... and of course Guicho and I had CoCoa with us... which she did really well ... had to keep her locked up the majority of the time since the sand would get into her splint and start an infection...the next day we all woke up.. took showers ... ate... and packed up to leave to Groom, TX... to Cross Ministries....

have to post pics later....

The insurance company labeled my Jeep as 'TOTALED' ... so I had until May 16th with the rental...but I took Friday off and Mauricio came in from Houston to follow me to go back to Wichita Falls to return the rental and to get my things out of the Jeep. I received my insurance check fast...so on the way home from Wichita Falls, we stopped by my brother-in-law's cousin's car lot in Grand Prairie to check out a 2001 Jeep that he had on the lot.. but he said that it isn't really a nice vehicle, a motor overhaul was done and it still needs to be checked out...and since it was a 'cash only' car lot, the minimum he would take was $5k...(out of my range)....so Mauricio took me on Saturday, the 16th, shopping around for another vehicle... first we stopped at the lot where I had purchased my Jeep 2 yrs earlier.. I saw on their website that they had a champagne colored Mercury Mountaineer....but on it was not on the lot... so I have no idea how often they update their pictures/inventory...so we go to another area of car lots in Garland... (garland ave behind Prestige Ford)... we see a 99 chevy suburban and 'cash only' for $3900...we take a test drive, runs nice /smooth and everything works.. leather interior...CD/cassette.. grill guard ... but the least he would take was $3800 + TTL (which is more than I had)... so then we go pick up Belinda to check out the suburban and to see if she could get the guy lower... nope, he wouldn't budge..so I take it he wasn't in need to make a sale... so off we all go to another car lot.. Belinda said that she saw a Trailblazer in another lot close by... so off we go to that car lot... we took a test drive in a Buick Vezrous(??), but anyways it ran rough, and sounded rough.. steering wheel was tight too... this car lot guy (Frank owner) said that all he requires is $2k down and in 2 weeks make the first payment, which is $100 each week ($400 mthly)... so the $2k down includes TTL... SOLD! I paid with a check the down payment and Monday after work I am able to pick up the vehicle.........BLACK, LEATHER INTERIOR, SEAT RECALL WHEN EXITING, CD/CASSETTE/RADIO, TIRES GOOD CONDITION, AND so much more....
So now I have a 2003 Black Chevy Trailblazer!!!
(and yes, I've already attached some 'pink' decals on it!)
Memorial weekend -- We head to Daniela's for the cook-out... then we head to OKLAHOMA WINSTAR CASINO !! Guicho won between $800/$900 and came back with $500... he loved the EBAY slot machine....we will be heading back soon!!

Thursday, April 30, 2009

Month of APRIL

Month of APRIL...

Well another month has come and gone....Nathalie made Pacesetter for next year at North Mesquite High...we had her fitting this month and I paid for all her outfits ($400)...she has a Pacesetter stage show on the 24th...(I recorded and it was great)...she did an awesome job!!

This month I'm just working to get things ready for Mary Kay's annual seminar in July at the Dallas Convention Center...busy busy busy...Daniela had a party for Gabino and Joanna...and she also closed / purchased a house in Grand Prairie!!!

We went to Bridgeport this year for Easter (as usual)...we cleaned out the gravesites and had our picture taken as usual with only one person missing in appearance but with us in heart... We had our cook-out at the regular big pavillion...played some volley and the guys acting like guys (changos)...Julissa playing and running around, she loved the playground and the slide... I miss momma so much...ugh!!!

It's momma's birthday and I miss her so much. I smell her around and know that she's watching over us. Sabrina took a picture of a shadow image in her apartment, and it resembles momma so much..I know that she was watching over Julissa and Sabrina...taking care of them.

We are planning a trip to Cross Ministries (a place where momma had always wanted to go as a one day road trip)...so we are planning on camping out (if it rains too much, then we get hotel rooms)...We all decided to take this road trip on the weekend following her birthday (4/29/09).. I will have to post pictures later...

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Month of March

Well after the passing of my momma...I really hadn't had much time to myself, Mauricio was around and the kids would be around...so no alone time to just think and take it all in.
I was heading to Orlando, FL for one of the company's many conferences...I stayed at The Peabody Hotel, which is 15 mins from Disney!! I left Wednesday (3/18/09) morning and returned on Sunday (3/22/09) morning. It was great weather.. everything was all within walking distance...and there was also a trolley that would take us to the 'shopping' areas... I was on the 19th floor and from my window view, in a distance I could see Epcot Center.. dangggg that's a big ball... it looked like a golf ball from a distance. When leaving, which I had to be at the airport by 5am... which was a good thing, because it was the end of SPRING BREAK and all the families with their kids were flooding the airports....wheww!

Nothing really has happened in MARCH....I got recommended to be a Registration Coordinator for next year's Career Conference...whoo hoo!!

other than that.. same ole same ole....

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Momma's Passing ...

This week has been very hard for us all.

Sunday, Feb. 8th at 3:40pm, momma went home to be with her parents and brothers. My Tia Julia had brought us tamales (the lady of the place gave them to her free of charge), rice and beans. Momma had her family by her side, including friends from the family.

Monday, Tuesday, went by in a blurr for me...

Wednesday was Momma's Rosary at Gonzalez Funeral home. We had friends and family from Ft. Worth come. Momma wanted a closed casket, so us three girls were there (Tia Julia too) before the viewing started at 4pm with the casket open. She (momma) looked so peaceful ... Daniela and I noticed a difference in her appearance, it didn't look like momma. The next day, Daniela sent me a text saying, that momma looked different to her because she didn't look sad. We had made a CD with songs that were requested by her online friends and it was playing while the viewing was going on. I even had my co-workers show up, all had contributed a monetary donation to help with momma's expenses...My Supervisor and Manager have been very gratious and understanding through this all. They have been very supportive and would always tell me to just take my time, take off of work as needed. Some stayed for the full rosary service and my Manager even attended the church service on Saturday afternoon. I just love this group...

Thursday and Friday I was in a daze .. (I was off of work all week)

Saturday, Feb. 14, 2009, was momma's church mass services.
We were about to leave, when I see a black car parking in front of my house.. surprise!!!..it was Moni (Lola) with Juanita, Moni had mentioned earlier that she wasn't sure if she and Tim could make the trip from down South...both came to drop off the food for after the services...(reception was at my house afterwards)
I arrived with Sabrina, Nathalie, Mario and Mauricio...there was still a wedding going on inside the church, so we had to wait til it was over. The church always looks amazing, Cathedral Shine of La Virgen de Guadalupe...When my cousin, Gene, arrived in the back of the church I saw him walking towards me (in front of church)...he tells me he has something for me to see.. so we walk back there and to my surprise, Chris and Rebecca made it in from Kansas!! Chris had said earlier that he would not be able to make the trip...I started crying, I know that momma wanted him there (he was to be a pall bearer). The services were great, we were able to get the Mariachis after all and they sounded awesome.. Momma always loved her Mariachis, Maria (cousin) got up to sing Hail Mary.. OMG, she was just awesome!! I know that she made momma proud, momma always loved the way Maria sings, she has a strong voice, just like her mom Ramona. Gene gave the eulogy, and all three of us just couldn't stop crying.. He did a great job on it, and momma picked him for a reason.. My cousin Juanita helped us with all the arrangements in regards to the church and the services.. she did an awesome job.. this wouldn't have come together as momma wanted without her tremendous help. After the services, everyone gathered at my place for food and support. I just about had half of my street full of cars...everyone was sharing stories and jokes, eating and drinking...Veronica showed up with her baby and sister -in- law...Amanda Rios showed up (Gene's oldest)...It was nice to see everyone upbeat and laughing.. just like momma had always told us..she didn't want anyone crying for her passing, she wanted everyone enjoying and celebrating.

After everyone left, me and my family, Daniela and hers, and Belinda and hers, all headed to Oklahoma, Choctaw Casino, along with momma's ashes..We rented 2 rooms and they were right next to one another!! The kids stayed in the rooms while the adults headed to the Casino up the road. We had planned this for about a week, since we know that momma enjoyed going to the casinos..even with just $10, she would still want to go. I came back with $400!!
We came back home on Sunday, we all had breakfast at IHOP and then we all went shopping at the Allen Outlet Mall.. them $400 came in handy!!

Sunday, February 8, 2009

3rd week of hospitalization

This is the 3rd week of my momma in the hospital...

On Tuesday, Feb. 3, 2009...my sisters and I had a meeting with my momma's doctor to get an update on her progress...Dr. Desoyza said that she wasn't getting any better. Dr. Desoyza stated that her body has adjusted with the medication she is receiving for her blood pressure, but she cannot stay on that medication too long and without it her pressure will drop..also, her breathing is weak, without the machine she will probably only last 1-2 hrs breathing on her own. Dr. Desoyza also stated that our mom has now developed bed sores on her back from laying in bed all this time. Our mom has always told us that she didn't want to be kept alive on a machine. Dr. Desoyza stated that keeping our mom on the machine and keeping her sedated for times, she will be suffering. Her blood pressure medication is only for a limited time, she is on the highest level they can administer. After talking with Dr. Desoyza yesterday and us girls having time to talk, our decision is to have our mom removed from her machine on Sunday, February 8th. We found out she was born on Sunday, April 29, 1945...so we will let her rest on a Sunday.

This same night, after checking on my mom and while talking with her, I went through my usual questions, can you hear me, are you in pain, are you cold, and this time when I asked if she was tired, she nodded her head yes.. I started crying, because I knew that meant she was suffering after all this time. I know that she is a fighter and this has worn her out. Daniela asked if she wanted the machine/tube removed, and momma nodded yes...Daniela asked her, if she knew what will happen if they were to remove the machine/tube.. and momma didn't answer.

Daniela has made the comment that this decision would be much easier had my momma been brain dead ... but knowing that she can hear us and she answers us.. makes it so much harder.

On Thursday, February 5, 2009... when I was about to go to sleep that night, I had turned off the TV and turned off the light, get covered and feel this cool breeze on my face. I know it wasn't from my ceiling fan, because I leave that sucker on all the time.. and this was a cool fresh air type of breeze. (in my mind, it was my momma letting me know everything will be okay)

On Friday, February 6, 2009... I was planning on working 1/2 day... I mentioned to my supervisor about our decision for Sunday and that my kids didn't have any school and my supervisor said that I could take the day off to spend with my family and my momma...So that is what we did, I had Nathalie and Mario up at the hospital all day.. and Guicho arrived later that evening after work.

On Sunday, February 8, 2009...I had all my family there, me, all my kids, and Guicho were there all day with me.. Belinda and her family, Daniela and hers.. our aunts, cousins, friends...etc...

The time came to take momma off of lifesport...(she had tears)...I was holding her right hand with Daniela next to me touching momma's leg and Belinda holding the left hand. I just kept watching momma loosing her will to fight.. her heart rate was dropping ..so was her blood pressure...Belinda put a cell phone next to momma's ear and her friend from online was blessing her and guiding her...I see her heart rate drop to the 40's, her eyes are still opened with tears...then her heart rate dropped to the 20's...it seemed as if not even 5 minutes have gone by...everything was happening so fast... I looked up and she flat lined!! She takes one more deep breath .. heart rate raises to 13 and then straight to flat line....I lost it, and yelled.. "NOOOO... momma you can't ... NOOOO... momma !!" Then Daniela and Belinda both looked at the machine and both lost it... Daniela started hitting her husband out of anger .. they tried to get her to calm down with some juice and a chair... Belinda started balling saying.."Ama...nooo ... Ama". This was a very emotional day for everyone...

My momma was the youngest of 7 and the first of the girls to pass on...at times when I remember all that has happened to her, I feel as if I am reliving some things that she went through only reversed...

1. she was the youngest - I am the youngest
2. she had 1 son and then 3 girls - I have 3 girls then 1 son
3. she had bell's palsy on the right side of her face - I have it on my left side
4. she had circulation problem with her right leg - I have it on my left side
5. she had a granddaughter then grandson - I have granddaughter then grandson

Sunday, February 1, 2009

2nd week of hospitalization

This is the 2nd week of momma being in hospital...

Spent all weekend at the hospital, day and night. Momma has been sedated but still coherent to what someone asks. She is getting angry that she isn't able to speak or take the tube out. She would roll her eyes whenever me and Daniela couldn't figure out what she was trying to tell us. She would move her hands, like she wants to write something. I gave her a pen and held a clipboard for her to write something, she wasn't able to write. We'd guess at things, and she'd get frustrated and angry. We did figure one thing out with her hand signal, she wanted to drink some water, but we told her that she couldn't drink at the moment with the tube in her throat. Then another day, Daniela asked if her head was itchy, and momma nodded yes.. so that was some progress on guessing what she wanted.

The Dr said that he has caught her twice, trying to remove the tube from her mouth. So she has had her arms strapped down next to her, to be on the safe side.

On Wednesday, January 28, 2009.. I was able to spend one more birthday with my momma. All of us were in the waiting room, and Belinda (sister) comes in and tells me and Daniela (sister) that Margaret (our favorite nurse) wanted to talk with us before her shift ended at 7pm. Belinda and Daniela went to my mom's room and I went in afterwards (RR first). As soon as I walked in both Daniela and Belinda started singing Happy Birthday...Belinda was next to my mom's head with a cake and I held my mom's hand and she was squeezing so hard, I knew that she was hearing them singing and she had tears in her eyes and of course I was crying as well.

On Thursday, January 29, 2009...one day after my wonderful birthday, on my way to work and RAMMMMM .. I get rearended on the freeway!! I have no idea where this car came from, and have no idea where he thought he was going, because traffic wasn't moving.. so why he was rushing.. I'm clueless!!

This is how the car ended up.. he just rammed up all under my rear bumper, causing damage to my gas tank, shock, floor panel, and bumper.. and because it was a chain reaction, I rammed into the car in front of me and broke his reflector on his rear bumper.. but damaged my front headlight and grill protector.. I called 911 and all three of us were waiting for the police, meanwhile, we exchanged insurance information... police got there and asked for our insurance/driver's licenses... then he points out that my insurance has expired!! I told him that I have the new one at home and can call my boyfriend to bring it to me, police officer said no, that's alright as long as the same policy # is on it... well I still had my boyfriend (Guicho) bring me the insurance. ..( I also called Belinda, thought she might still be in the Mesquite area)...Belinda came and officer asked if she was with me, I said yes.. I called her because she works for an insurance agency....so she was checking out the Jeep and the damage and what not.... then Guicho shows up, officer asked if he was with me, I said yes... officer commented, "You have people, don't you?"...We both laughed, and I got my NEW insurance card and showed him the policy #....
So I turn around and go back home, and notice that my muffler is sounding rough.. I call my supervisor and left her a message about me not coming in to work, informed of what has happened and that I will be contacting car rental places to locate a vehicle for the time being.
I contacted the dealership to schedule a time for their wrecker to come and pick up my Jeep. Then I called the guys insurance, luckily he had already called them ahead of time and explained what happened, so I just had to call them to get a confirmation # to get a rental on his insurance..booyahh .. get confirmation # and got a rental from Enterprise.
Long story short.. I had that rental for about 3 weeks!!
total cost of my Jeep repairs over $3600 !!!

Sunday, January 25, 2009

1st week of hospitalization

This was the first full week my momma has been in the hospital.

I took off work on Tuesday and Wednesday (she was admitted on Monday).

I 've been on the same routine all week, take kids to school in morning, head to work, call Daniela to get an update, after work go straight to hospital and stay til about 10pm or so. Guicho would call me after he would get home from work and ask if I wanted the kids up there (nathalie/mario), so that he can take them up there to be with me and momma. Then he would take them back home if they left before I did. Every night I'd walk in my mom's room to check on her and to talk with her. When leaving every night, I'd go check on my mom and ask her the same questions, " momma can you hear me?", she would nod her head yes. I 'd tell her to squeeze my hand and she would. I'd ask her if she was in pain, she'd say no. I'd ask if she was cold, she'd say no. I'd ask if she was tired, she'd say no. I'd tell her when I was leaving, but would be back the next day after work and to get some rest.

Monday, January 19, 2009

Strange Feeling...

On this day, at 4:52am I awoke from my sleep with a feeling of peacefulness, calmness...just a feeling of ease (which I've never felt before). I checked the clock and laid back down to sleep, when my sister Daniela calls me at 4:55am saying that my momma had suffered another heart attack. I got up and headed to the hospital right away...I went to my momma's room and both my sisters were already there and a nurse. Daniela told me that momma did suffer another heart attack and that they were getting momma ready to take her upstairs to do her dialysis. We were all in there talking and joking around with momma (as usual). Around 7:15am the nurse said that they would be taking momma upstairs to start her dialysis and it'll take about 4-5 hrs. So me and Belinda figured, okay we can head to work and come back afterwards (Belinda works up the road and me in Addison) Daniela said that she would go home and try to get some sleep. Around 11am Daniela calls me to let me know that momma was still in dialysis. Then around 2:10pm at work, I get a call from Daniela(she was crying badly), I just said 'hey', and she started saying that momma was incubated, she couldn't breathe. I hung up and grabbed my things and notified one of my co-workers that I had to leave on emergency to please let our supervisor know..and headed out to the hospital.

I arrived to see my momma hooked up to a lot of bags/machines...Dr. Desoyza said that after her dialysis, momma started having problems breathing and he asked her to be hooked up to the machine, which momma said no. Dr. Desoyza said that she was arguing with him about the machine and he explained to her, that if she doesn't get hooked up she will die right then and there. So momma told him and the nurses to hook up the machine, but not for more than 30 days. (momma has always told us that she never wanted to be kept alive by machine, so we know that she was suffering trying to breathe on her own to change her mind)

Mauricio (Guicho) had called me after I left him a message, and told him what had happened (he couldn't believe what I was telling him).. he asked if I wanted him to take the kids (nathalie / mario) up there to be with me and momma.. I told him that he could ask them if they wanted to come and if they did, then yes he could bring them. (they all came that evening)

We all stayed at the hospital til late that night, Guicho took the kids back around 10pm and I left later that night. Momma was sedated.