Sunday, February 15, 2009

Momma's Passing ...

This week has been very hard for us all.

Sunday, Feb. 8th at 3:40pm, momma went home to be with her parents and brothers. My Tia Julia had brought us tamales (the lady of the place gave them to her free of charge), rice and beans. Momma had her family by her side, including friends from the family.

Monday, Tuesday, went by in a blurr for me...

Wednesday was Momma's Rosary at Gonzalez Funeral home. We had friends and family from Ft. Worth come. Momma wanted a closed casket, so us three girls were there (Tia Julia too) before the viewing started at 4pm with the casket open. She (momma) looked so peaceful ... Daniela and I noticed a difference in her appearance, it didn't look like momma. The next day, Daniela sent me a text saying, that momma looked different to her because she didn't look sad. We had made a CD with songs that were requested by her online friends and it was playing while the viewing was going on. I even had my co-workers show up, all had contributed a monetary donation to help with momma's expenses...My Supervisor and Manager have been very gratious and understanding through this all. They have been very supportive and would always tell me to just take my time, take off of work as needed. Some stayed for the full rosary service and my Manager even attended the church service on Saturday afternoon. I just love this group...

Thursday and Friday I was in a daze .. (I was off of work all week)

Saturday, Feb. 14, 2009, was momma's church mass services.
We were about to leave, when I see a black car parking in front of my house.. surprise!!! was Moni (Lola) with Juanita, Moni had mentioned earlier that she wasn't sure if she and Tim could make the trip from down South...both came to drop off the food for after the services...(reception was at my house afterwards)
I arrived with Sabrina, Nathalie, Mario and Mauricio...there was still a wedding going on inside the church, so we had to wait til it was over. The church always looks amazing, Cathedral Shine of La Virgen de Guadalupe...When my cousin, Gene, arrived in the back of the church I saw him walking towards me (in front of church)...he tells me he has something for me to see.. so we walk back there and to my surprise, Chris and Rebecca made it in from Kansas!! Chris had said earlier that he would not be able to make the trip...I started crying, I know that momma wanted him there (he was to be a pall bearer). The services were great, we were able to get the Mariachis after all and they sounded awesome.. Momma always loved her Mariachis, Maria (cousin) got up to sing Hail Mary.. OMG, she was just awesome!! I know that she made momma proud, momma always loved the way Maria sings, she has a strong voice, just like her mom Ramona. Gene gave the eulogy, and all three of us just couldn't stop crying.. He did a great job on it, and momma picked him for a reason.. My cousin Juanita helped us with all the arrangements in regards to the church and the services.. she did an awesome job.. this wouldn't have come together as momma wanted without her tremendous help. After the services, everyone gathered at my place for food and support. I just about had half of my street full of cars...everyone was sharing stories and jokes, eating and drinking...Veronica showed up with her baby and sister -in- law...Amanda Rios showed up (Gene's oldest)...It was nice to see everyone upbeat and laughing.. just like momma had always told us..she didn't want anyone crying for her passing, she wanted everyone enjoying and celebrating.

After everyone left, me and my family, Daniela and hers, and Belinda and hers, all headed to Oklahoma, Choctaw Casino, along with momma's ashes..We rented 2 rooms and they were right next to one another!! The kids stayed in the rooms while the adults headed to the Casino up the road. We had planned this for about a week, since we know that momma enjoyed going to the casinos..even with just $10, she would still want to go. I came back with $400!!
We came back home on Sunday, we all had breakfast at IHOP and then we all went shopping at the Allen Outlet Mall.. them $400 came in handy!!

Sunday, February 8, 2009

3rd week of hospitalization

This is the 3rd week of my momma in the hospital...

On Tuesday, Feb. 3, sisters and I had a meeting with my momma's doctor to get an update on her progress...Dr. Desoyza said that she wasn't getting any better. Dr. Desoyza stated that her body has adjusted with the medication she is receiving for her blood pressure, but she cannot stay on that medication too long and without it her pressure will drop..also, her breathing is weak, without the machine she will probably only last 1-2 hrs breathing on her own. Dr. Desoyza also stated that our mom has now developed bed sores on her back from laying in bed all this time. Our mom has always told us that she didn't want to be kept alive on a machine. Dr. Desoyza stated that keeping our mom on the machine and keeping her sedated for times, she will be suffering. Her blood pressure medication is only for a limited time, she is on the highest level they can administer. After talking with Dr. Desoyza yesterday and us girls having time to talk, our decision is to have our mom removed from her machine on Sunday, February 8th. We found out she was born on Sunday, April 29, we will let her rest on a Sunday.

This same night, after checking on my mom and while talking with her, I went through my usual questions, can you hear me, are you in pain, are you cold, and this time when I asked if she was tired, she nodded her head yes.. I started crying, because I knew that meant she was suffering after all this time. I know that she is a fighter and this has worn her out. Daniela asked if she wanted the machine/tube removed, and momma nodded yes...Daniela asked her, if she knew what will happen if they were to remove the machine/tube.. and momma didn't answer.

Daniela has made the comment that this decision would be much easier had my momma been brain dead ... but knowing that she can hear us and she answers us.. makes it so much harder.

On Thursday, February 5, 2009... when I was about to go to sleep that night, I had turned off the TV and turned off the light, get covered and feel this cool breeze on my face. I know it wasn't from my ceiling fan, because I leave that sucker on all the time.. and this was a cool fresh air type of breeze. (in my mind, it was my momma letting me know everything will be okay)

On Friday, February 6, 2009... I was planning on working 1/2 day... I mentioned to my supervisor about our decision for Sunday and that my kids didn't have any school and my supervisor said that I could take the day off to spend with my family and my momma...So that is what we did, I had Nathalie and Mario up at the hospital all day.. and Guicho arrived later that evening after work.

On Sunday, February 8, 2009...I had all my family there, me, all my kids, and Guicho were there all day with me.. Belinda and her family, Daniela and hers.. our aunts, cousins, friends...etc...

The time came to take momma off of lifesport...(she had tears)...I was holding her right hand with Daniela next to me touching momma's leg and Belinda holding the left hand. I just kept watching momma loosing her will to fight.. her heart rate was dropping was her blood pressure...Belinda put a cell phone next to momma's ear and her friend from online was blessing her and guiding her...I see her heart rate drop to the 40's, her eyes are still opened with tears...then her heart rate dropped to the 20' seemed as if not even 5 minutes have gone by...everything was happening so fast... I looked up and she flat lined!! She takes one more deep breath .. heart rate raises to 13 and then straight to flat line....I lost it, and yelled.. "NOOOO... momma you can't ... NOOOO... momma !!" Then Daniela and Belinda both looked at the machine and both lost it... Daniela started hitting her husband out of anger .. they tried to get her to calm down with some juice and a chair... Belinda started balling saying.."Ama...nooo ... Ama". This was a very emotional day for everyone...

My momma was the youngest of 7 and the first of the girls to pass times when I remember all that has happened to her, I feel as if I am reliving some things that she went through only reversed...

1. she was the youngest - I am the youngest
2. she had 1 son and then 3 girls - I have 3 girls then 1 son
3. she had bell's palsy on the right side of her face - I have it on my left side
4. she had circulation problem with her right leg - I have it on my left side
5. she had a granddaughter then grandson - I have granddaughter then grandson

Sunday, February 1, 2009

2nd week of hospitalization

This is the 2nd week of momma being in hospital...

Spent all weekend at the hospital, day and night. Momma has been sedated but still coherent to what someone asks. She is getting angry that she isn't able to speak or take the tube out. She would roll her eyes whenever me and Daniela couldn't figure out what she was trying to tell us. She would move her hands, like she wants to write something. I gave her a pen and held a clipboard for her to write something, she wasn't able to write. We'd guess at things, and she'd get frustrated and angry. We did figure one thing out with her hand signal, she wanted to drink some water, but we told her that she couldn't drink at the moment with the tube in her throat. Then another day, Daniela asked if her head was itchy, and momma nodded yes.. so that was some progress on guessing what she wanted.

The Dr said that he has caught her twice, trying to remove the tube from her mouth. So she has had her arms strapped down next to her, to be on the safe side.

On Wednesday, January 28, 2009.. I was able to spend one more birthday with my momma. All of us were in the waiting room, and Belinda (sister) comes in and tells me and Daniela (sister) that Margaret (our favorite nurse) wanted to talk with us before her shift ended at 7pm. Belinda and Daniela went to my mom's room and I went in afterwards (RR first). As soon as I walked in both Daniela and Belinda started singing Happy Birthday...Belinda was next to my mom's head with a cake and I held my mom's hand and she was squeezing so hard, I knew that she was hearing them singing and she had tears in her eyes and of course I was crying as well.

On Thursday, January 29, day after my wonderful birthday, on my way to work and RAMMMMM .. I get rearended on the freeway!! I have no idea where this car came from, and have no idea where he thought he was going, because traffic wasn't moving.. so why he was rushing.. I'm clueless!!

This is how the car ended up.. he just rammed up all under my rear bumper, causing damage to my gas tank, shock, floor panel, and bumper.. and because it was a chain reaction, I rammed into the car in front of me and broke his reflector on his rear bumper.. but damaged my front headlight and grill protector.. I called 911 and all three of us were waiting for the police, meanwhile, we exchanged insurance information... police got there and asked for our insurance/driver's licenses... then he points out that my insurance has expired!! I told him that I have the new one at home and can call my boyfriend to bring it to me, police officer said no, that's alright as long as the same policy # is on it... well I still had my boyfriend (Guicho) bring me the insurance. ..( I also called Belinda, thought she might still be in the Mesquite area)...Belinda came and officer asked if she was with me, I said yes.. I called her because she works for an insurance she was checking out the Jeep and the damage and what not.... then Guicho shows up, officer asked if he was with me, I said yes... officer commented, "You have people, don't you?"...We both laughed, and I got my NEW insurance card and showed him the policy #....
So I turn around and go back home, and notice that my muffler is sounding rough.. I call my supervisor and left her a message about me not coming in to work, informed of what has happened and that I will be contacting car rental places to locate a vehicle for the time being.
I contacted the dealership to schedule a time for their wrecker to come and pick up my Jeep. Then I called the guys insurance, luckily he had already called them ahead of time and explained what happened, so I just had to call them to get a confirmation # to get a rental on his insurance..booyahh .. get confirmation # and got a rental from Enterprise.
Long story short.. I had that rental for about 3 weeks!!
total cost of my Jeep repairs over $3600 !!!