Well we actually were all together this year for New Year's. We headed to Belinda's house and she had a cook-out with meat, rice, beans, drinks..we had a good time... midnight came so fast.. Mauricio wasn't feeling to good so we didn't really stay that long into the New Year.... I called momma's #, just like in the previous years, and wished her a Happy New Year. Noone has her # yet, but even if someone had the # I would still say "Happy New Year Momma"...
Our first year without her, almost a year since she passed away. I keep thinking back to that morning, Monday Jan 19th, and all of us at the hospital with her, laughing and joking...noone knew that would be our last time to hear her laugh and joke with the nurse. It still doesn't seem real, even after all these months. I still feel that I have not mourned her death, it doesn't seem real yet..is this normal? There are times when I'm driving home from work and I'll look at her memory card (from funeral) and I just talk to her...listening to some CDs, and I can just see her next to me tapping her hand and nodding her head to the beat..or singing along...there are times that I feel myself making an expression that my mom would make.. I don't know how to explain it, but if I'm thinking of something or just staring at something, I feel inside as if it's my mother's pose/expression...
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
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